I recently joined Sobfest, and last night I relinquish my membership. My father passed away last week, and I’ve developed the ability to “cry at anything”. I’ve exceeded my limit of tear production for the day. Statistics show you burn 1.3 calories per minute crying, so technically I should be invisible!
Grieving is a process I have been fortunate to be unfamiliar with. Grief comes in these tiny waves that turn into tsunamis, and I find it difficult to surf along through life when they hit.
I said goodbye to my dad, by gracing the skies with a balloon which represents all the “balloon men” he painted on my leg when I was young. Using iodine, my dad could turn a booboo incident into a fun time by simply painting a “balloon man” which always chased my blues away! My dad was awesome at making fun of things when I was a small child. Last night, I wrote a note on a tiny card, attached it to the balloon and set it free. I watched as the balloon floated away in the night sky, and as it caught a wind current I envisioned my dad catching it at Heaven’s gate. There wasn’t a single breeze in the air, but this balloon went up to heaven faster than I could say, “Please come back for one more minute in time”. I wished on a star that my dad could grab the balloon and fall back to the earth for one more kiss. Now, even I know this won’t happen, but grief is a funny thing that plays with your mind, and you truly start thinking the strangest thoughts.
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5). And when that morning comes, “death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore” (Revelation 21:4). I am hoping joy comes soon, simply because I am so tired and so worn from being sad. I loved my dad and as I sit here in the land of the dying, I know he’s dancing in the land of the living!
I woke up this morning and found Joy tucked neatly under my pillow, and I placed it in my heart. It was seeping out from under my pillow like a giant cotton ball you try to tuck in a box that is too small. All puffy and light, joy struck me this morning, and I’m keeping it and spreading it around today like jam on bread that has holes in it!
You can’t keep Joy to yourself, you have to spread it around!
If you see me, catch it! If you can’t see me, here it is, Joy for the taking pick it up, tuck it in your heart and spread it around!
Be thankful for all you have and all you are. Thankful for your kids, your home, your warm bed and thankful, beyond thankful for who you have become! We are all changing daily, and our circumstances can make us great, not ungrateful! Don’t let your circumstances hinder who you were born to become…one grateful, joyously struck, awesome person!
Live life! Live your dreams! Be joyously proud, happy and thankful all in one day!