I awoke in a room unfamiliar to me. The furniture was tattered and worn. Bottles and cans spread across the floor, like pebbles on the path of life. The debris on the floor reminded me of the intricate obstacles I spent countless days trying to avoid. In the mist of the cool evening, dew dripped from everything around me. I saw a vision this evening, I saw their vision. I saw how it feels, smells and tastes to be bound to your own destiny because of poor judgment, mishaps or disbelief. I failed to realize it was a dream.

I was shattered, shaken by my own fear, and into the abyss I fell. Struggling, I tried to crawl out but I kept falling. I screamed out but no one heard. I was stuck in the vision of faithlessness. The cold, dark illusion surrounded me, and I truly feared. I felt fear evolve into my world, and I became frozen and couldn’t move. What happened? What was happening? Had I let myself fall that hard? Had I not relied on my faith, the most intricate part of what made me real? This faith that kept me going, kept me alive day after day, had it disappeared?

I stumbled around for what seemed an eternity. Hunger was knocking at the door, but I couldn’t answer, I had no food! Where had my world gone? I was alone. No friends, no family! Where was the baby? The beautiful boy, where was he? I called and no one answered. I screamed, still nothing and no one came! What had I done? Did I deserve this?

I walked to the street with outstretched hands and no one saw, I was invisible to them. I hit the ground hard, bones crushing the pavement, skin tearing, and I cried. I pounded fist to pavement, and my knuckles were wet, dripping with blood. The silence was deafening, yet cars were speeding by, and then the darkness came and I passed out. As I lay there, no one stopped, not one person saw the pain leaching from every fiber of my being. Not one soul stopped to help, and I dreamed of kind people running to my side.

I awoke from my dream and felt calm. I looked around and I was home. Safely tucked in my authentic Sealy Posturepedic bed, comforter pulled up around my neck, I laid their heart pounding. I knew what I saw, what I felt. For a brief moment in time God took me to their world, the world of a “homeless disbeliever”. A world torn up by using drugs and alcohol or losing it all. Even the baby, the baby boy, the small boy, was so clear! The vision was clear, the small boy was Jesus, and this woman was looking for her baby, her Jesus, her redeemer! I was privy to see a life where torment and despair are real. A life where not one human, not one Christian cares. This is not a world I want to know.

This night, this evening where I slipped into the abyss of disbelief, God gave me a glimpse of what it feels like to a non-believer to fall down. This night, I learned what it feels like to have nothing. I weep for those that do not have Christ in their lives.

This glimpse, this God glimpse reconfirmed if we call ourselves Christians, then every human being means something. We must not turn a naked eye to the truth. We must engage in our surroundings, our world and be warriors for Christ. We must bring the fallen, the homeless even the broken to Christ so they can be healed.


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